Okay, so, Tuesday the 2nd of July 2024 and you know, where do I start? Like kind of like where do I go with this? I spend majority of my time lying down in bed. Like for the very first time in a very long time I've kind of like gotten out of bed. I've gotten out of bed, gone downstairs to try and get on with my day and then before I knew it I was back in my room
momentarily only for me to kind of like succumb to like you know the mental strain, the physical strain, the emotional strain that's been kind of like you know laying heavy on my back for the past God knows how many weeks and I just decided to get back into bed and do absolutely nothing at all sometimes, it's funny because I have this conversation with my friends on a regular basis as well
that sometimes I become so busy that I have nothing to do at all isn't that strange? like literally like I have so many responsibilities, so many demands coming from so many angles that you know I actually you know I can't do anything, I can't commit to everything. Even if I'm sure that there is some kind of routine that I can establish that allows me to pay attention to everything accordingly, when I get overwhelmed with so much to do,
I literally have nothing to do at all. Moments like this are moments that teach me or give me not necessarily an ultimatum but more of a you know kind of puts me of a position of being at the crossroads. Now I feel like you know throughout the course of my life especially my young adulthood my teenage years I have neglected certain realities that I probably needed to take far more seriously in order to avoid being in the situation that I'm in now and you know
the reality of the thing is is that you know I am now in a position where I have to ask myself do I kind of like you know work for the sake of meeting the financial demand that is on my back or do I pursue my dream for the sake of fulfilling the purpose that gives me a reason to be alive? Because at the moment those are my two options. It's sad that unfortunately music does not bring in the money that could allow me to kill two birds with one stone, but unfortunately this is the dilemma that I'm in and this is like you know these are my days sometimes, sometimes I get knocked down, sometimes I lie down on
my bed, I do nothing at all for the whole day, give myself twice the amount of work that I have to do the following day but this is what it is until I get to the point to which I completely break through. Things are not going to be better in the sense of like you know just because I have more money, just because I have more meaning and because I have more purpose in my life doesn't necessarily mean my life is going to be better but it means that things are going to be different and I guess I can't wait for the moment in which my life and my routine becomes a little bit different
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