Saturday the 14th of September 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be always knocking. So plenty of the situations that I've been observing like over the past few months, maybe like the past half a year and if anything like literally the past 4 or 5 years have kind of
led me to this position of self-reflection. I reflect over loss and I reflect over grief, especially within the context of
partnership, kind of like relationships, intimacy between two people, two people that effectively love each other. I'm not entirely certain why, but I feel like you know, for as long, maybe not for as long as I've been alive, but for as long as I have come to know what love is I've also come to know what hatred is in the same way that I have come to know
what it is to have found someone I've also come to know what it means to have lost someone and I feel like those are like effectively two sides of the same coin two sides that I effectively embrace with equal enthusiasm if that makes sense and if that makes me strange then so be it but I guess what it is that I'm trying to say is that I embrace life just as equally as I embrace death. I am just as enthusiastic about love as I am equally as embracing of the thoughts that I may very well lose them. There are many things that, you know, there are
many flaws that I guess I have recognized, perhaps not necessarily within our human nature, but our understanding of one another and kind of like our understanding of what it means to love, what it means to lose, in other words, what it means to have gained, what it means to have lost, what it means to gain and what it means to lose. I tend to find that there are a fair number of flaws within our understanding because it effectively shapes our expectations in such a way that we want it to. I have cultivated many
experiences and I continue to reference them on a daily basis. For example, the tale of how Othello had lost Desdemona not because she was unfaithful to him. An idea that was again sold to him as a poison or served to him effectively as a mental or as an emotional poison by none other than his right hand guard or his confidant or maybe like his lieutenant Iago. I also look at my own personal experiences and I look at the experiences between my mother and father, between plenty of people I guess
to a certain extent, all of whom and all of us, you know, which are connected together, interconnected because we have experienced love on this frequency, we have experienced hatred on this frequency, in the same way we have gained, in the same way we have experienced what it means to like gain and what it means to lose on this frequency. And if there's one thing that I guess I have taught myself is that, you know, again, the one thing that is continuously constant is change and everything else apart from that, things are always changing. And with that
being said, I am, you know, as prepared to gain something as I am prepared to lose it. I am as enthusiastic about gaining something as I am enthusiastic to lose it. This isn't to say that death brings me happiness, that loss brings me joy. No, death brings me guilt, death brings me sorrow, death brings me pain, loss brings me grief and all of these things and these are emotions and expressions that I guess I seek not as you know a form of kind of like not as a kind of like an unhealthy relationship with such emotions, but more so Kind of like an acceptance that I guess in a way life will serve me with such situations life will do this and You know you know, it means that from these experiences I can only learn and I can only grow and I can only age healthily in fine wisdom.
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