Thursday the 5th of September 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be dismemberment. So the academic year for like pretty much every child from the age of I don't know till about 18 has started again and that means that the roads are now completely
completely riddled with parents trying to get their children to school from like about I want to say 8 o'clock to like half past 9 and obviously the same will go again for like the periods between half
past 3 and then maybe like 6 o'clock give or take around that area. So the routine in my household is now busier than it ever has been in like the last 6 and six and a half weeks and despite the fact that I went to bed yesterday with a bit of confidence in the amount of time that I was going to have available to effectively pursue my dreams, pursue my goals, effectively trying to build a foundation, a sediment almost that can firmly hold the demands of my family, my family kind of like a lifestyle, the people
that effectively I need to look after, this realisation, having to rush to and through places and having to look after my own has left me with this little bit of a melancholic state of mind really and truthfully. Really and truthfully, sometimes I try to, I'm caught between two states of mind if I'm being honest. You know, and I guess to a certain degree there's always advantages and disadvantages to each state of mind.
One state of mind is a state of mind of acceptance, that is, allowing myself to be dismembered, to be cut, to be broken, to be effectively molded by the pressure and by the inevitability of not just the lifestyle that I've chosen for myself but also the mercy that I am at when it comes to my financial situation and the way that I am. The way in which, I guess to a certain degree, my class forces me to effectively corner myself within this particular character or trope that effectively has been carried on for like years upon years upon years. I'm basically trying to say that you know
with each generation that passes by there is always going to be a group of people that are going to fall victim to this trope because they don't question what it means, like they don't question why they them specifically have to be in this particular trope. The people who make the least amount of money but yet work the most amount of hours, have the least amount of assets etc etc. It sounds a little bit Marxist but I digress. So I sometimes struggle to find myself, I get caught between having that state of mind
and having the state of mind that effectively rebels against it and effectively questions everything and challenges everything and refuses everything to do with this idea that I have to live this lifestyle. Unfortunately for me, I often feel outnumbered when it comes to challenging this notion and in other words, waking up to the reality that this is a setup. This is a setup. We cannot sustain and we cannot grow and we cannot nurture a healthy family. I'm not saying that we need to grow immaculate families, but we cannot sustain and we cannot build a good family when there is so much pressure on us as adults, as couples, as
parents to, you know, this pressure on us to effectively like commit to the number of hours that we need to commit to in order to make the tiny little bit of money that will barely be able to feed the children that we're trying to raise. And the amount of time that we have is not enough as a result of this. The amount of patience and the amount of dedication that you need to download into your own child is immeasurable in my eyes.
There is never too much time that you can spend with your children to a certain extent, especially when it comes to nurturing them. And I guess I'm kind of like returning back to that melancholic view. I'm not sure which state of mind to have, because sometimes resistance does feel futile, and other times I'm not sure if I can actually cope being in this state of mind forever.
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