I just think there’s something missing from the work I’ve been publishing for the last three years, is that something that I’m allowed to feel especially since it concerns the quality of my own process?
I know myself enough to appreciate that sometimes not only can I be too harsh on myself but I also fail to take time to acknowledge how far I’ve come irrespective of the total amount of distance travelled over the years.
At the same time however I cannot see why it wouldn’t be okay to sit back and reflect on the progress I would have wanted to make but for a reason that I would like to figure out I haven’t. For the sake of improvement does it not make sense for me to investigate what that reason is? Who wants to be stuck in limbo following the same process over and over again to obtain little or no results?
As much as some degree of toxicity is unavoidable when it comes to comparison…I have to appreciate that I’m not in this business with a group companies who started breaking artists a couple of months ago.
I’m in this business competing with organisations hundreds of times bigger and more experienced than me and I find it foolish to think it unwise to evaluate the steps that I’m making to building my own success.
Sometimes I have to evaluate my own delusion. Yes it’s okay to dream big and hope to become the greatest artist to have ever graced the microphone but it is asinine to expect that will be achieved with the few clicks of a mouse.
The truth is I’ve always felt at the very least, a degree of inferiority when I compare myself to those who seem as though they’ve got everything figured out. It’s the reason why I sculpt myself to look as professionally as possible, because when it boils down to it looks are always going to matter, everybody will always judge and the winning ticket will always go to the one who looks the part.
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