Thursday the 24th of October 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be Hard to be me. So when I really think about it right, when I think about or when I think back to sort of like my upbringing, I guess I've come to the realization that really and truthfully I'm a people
pleaser at heart or maybe I'm just a people pleaser at condition or by condition. I'm not entirely certain why this is the case however depending on your upbringing and how you're brought up by your parents this effectively has an impact on the type of person that you're going to be and the type of behaviors that you're going to carry when you kind of like get older. I guess the people pleaser in me kind of like gives reason to suggest that the way that I was brought up or you know I was effectively in the sort of environment where either parents or both parents were effectively behaving
in such a way where I had to sort of like predict their moods or I had to effectively sort of like effectively their behaviors and their mannerisms were never really consistent like they were effectively just constantly switching between good and bad, good and bad, good and bad, positive negative, positive negative, positive negative. And, you know, I guess I suppose, what do I mean when I say like it's hard to be me? Like, I guess from the perspective
that I'm sort of like choosing to look at this, you know, kind of like I'm choosing to look at this notion from, I tend to find that I'm absorbing, you know, the kind of like the people pleaser in me effectively absorbs so many people's problems, so many people's energies, so many people's sort of like, I don't know, I guess I'm the type of person that effectively is attractive to people that have a lot on their shoulders that they just want to offload, offload, offload, offload and offload. Whether it be their problems mentally, whether it be their
physical problems, whatever it is that they're going on in their personal life, I seem to always have like an ear or you know an ear for someone to listen, you know an ear for me to listen or a shoulder for someone to cry on and it's effectively hard but there's kind of like a not necessarily a caveat but there's almost like a hidden layer underneath that one that I sort of like need to address to effectively accept the fact that I
am still you know kind of that past the point of my early development as a human being as a human being with a psychology like everybody else I have effectively like allowed myself to stay this way and If there's anything in particular that I don't like about the way that I am or who I am as a person, then it's up to me to kind of like make those changes now in order to see some good results moving to kind of like make those changes now in order to see some good results moving forward.
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