Thursday the 22nd of August 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be Immortal Futility. So whilst I must admit that at the moment I'm in a completely kind of like inverted state of mind in comparison to the state of mind that I was in this, you know, earlier this
morning and possibly like earlier this afternoon. I still have to navigate my way through those difficult emotions, those difficult feelings,
those difficult thoughts that arise whenever I find myself almost at my wits end because I now begin to realize myself within the reality of what it means to kind of like navigate your way through the music industry. So I myself just like many other people kind of like fell for the allure of success kind of like when I looked at some of my favorite artists like you know Ja Rule, 50 Cent, Busta Rhymes kind of like seeing how they were getting a lot of wealth, they kind of represented a lot of
what I wanted as a kid, if that makes sense. And from the outside looking in, all of these things seemed so obtainable. It seemed very, very easy from the outside looking in. However, coming to the reality of what it is that I'm going through, I'm kind of like having to battle with the difficult thoughts and the difficult feelings that arise whenever things are not going my way. And often at times, I must admit, things don't really go my way.
Like you know, for example, like you know, despite the fact that I put out two lyric videos the other week, I find myself kind of like, you know, I'm at my wits end, kind of like with trying to get people to listen, trying to get people to comment, trying to get people to engage and not kind of like getting the numbers that I was really hoping for. Numbers can be quite, you know, as a quick side note, numbers can be quite I guess deceiving. They can be quite,
you know, they can convince oneself to kind of like feel disheartened that the music isn't getting as much attention as it's supposed to. However, I do have to battle out with those feelings. I have days where I feel completely euphoric, if that makes any sense. And then I just have days when I feel absolutely slaughtered. And I guess I just have to battle it out with those thoughts every now and again, even though I've been doing this for quite some time now.
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