Wednesday the 9th of October 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be internal discipline. So I know that I've spoken about this many times in the past but like I am still kind of like in the process of trying to find not necessarily the perfect middle ground but the best
kind of like the best combination between the amount of time that I spend kind of like engaging with people, interacting with people and the amount of time that I spend effectively kind of
like in my own solitude just basically kind of like working on myself and preserving my own energy. The truth of the matter is kind of like when I started this journey or when I fantasized about becoming an artist I very much kind of like longed for the days where I would wake up to hundreds of messages from different people telling me how awesome my music is and how my music is effectively like you know changes their life for the good or influences them to kind of like make positive kind of like changes
for the good. Never really taking into account like how difficult such a crowd could be to manage so like again at the moment like my phone is just full of messages that I need to get back to you and I don't even I don't think I can even put myself in a in a mark where I have up to 100 fans and yet it's already overwhelming so like the funny thing is like you know I have days where I am very very happy to kind of like get back to people's messages and I have days where kind of like looking at these messages feels
very daunting and very overwhelming and draining if that, you know, and draining if that makes any sense at all. And I feel like I have to effectively establish the discipline or the routine that effectively allows me to keep up with conversations and keep up with people without me leaning too much into the task or leaning too much into the whole kind of like exercise of it really. Because what tends to happen is like I lose hours kind of like getting back to people and sometimes that isn't exactly the most effective way to go about it at all.
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