Alright cool, so Sunday the 26th of January 2025 and I must admit it did hurt, it did hurt not being popular. I mean I wouldn't say that I'm popular now because it feels like I'm always comparing myself to the people that effectively reflect my preconceived notions and my ideas of what it means to be popular. Which you know for context is kind of like you know being stopped, like you know to the
point that when you step out of the house there are certain places that you can't go to because you're going to be stuck for like you know an hour just being stopped by continuous people who know you and you know funny enough there are people who kind of like you know but funny enough there are people that kind of like look at me and they think Jesus like you know you're popular which I find very fascinating
but I guess the question that I'm asking myself is like you know the thing that I'm trying to say is that it hurt not to be popular right and that's the reason why I had the desire to be popular there's the whole did you know the whole kind of like you know the whole shining you know jewel that's at you know you know that's that's on the horizon and if you know the thing that everybody runs towards and definitely the thing that I ran towards which was becoming a rapper is the thing that I
wanted and the thing that I sought out for was popularity. I'm not really entirely certain why. I just knew that it hurt not to be popular and I knew how it felt when I saw somebody who was popular getting all the love, getting all the attention and I was just there in the shadows. So it hurt not to be popular and I don't know, does it still hurt to be popular now is what I'm asking myself, I'm not entirely certain. I definitely have a recognition, you know, I recognize that this was a desire of mine and I recognize that this is something that I felt like I
needed in order to survive. However, now I'm beginning to question whether this is something that I actually need and whether this is something that I felt like I thought I needed because of like, you know, whatever it was that I was actually kind of like going through it, that makes sense, innit? But either way, either way, it always hurt, man. It hurt not to be popular.
And so that's why naturally the desire of being an actor, of being a performer, being a rap artist, was always something that I gravitated towards.
Comments