I remember sitting across someone really special to me once, it was a bitter sweet affair because time and space thereafter that moment changed all of that, and now I’d be lucky if this person even thinks about me once in a while.
We were at a pub somewhere, she was training to become a teacher and I was well…preparing to become a father in my early twenties. I always remember struggling so hard to feel happy for her whenever she hit her milestones. It’s like for some reason this person was always naturally so ahead of me, and it often left me feeling inadequate, like I simply wasn’t built to keep up with her much more exciting career prospects.
I remember her telling me how she cannot believe she’s at the cusp of becoming a fully qualified teacher, her experience was incredibly surreal because after all, not many people genuinely believe they’re gonna achieve everything they’ve set out to achieve, even in the moment when they actually achieve it.
This recollection whilst completely a bitter memory up until now, currently feels a little more bitter sweet than anything else. Upon my reflection, it’s very clear to me now that I struggled to be happy for this person because she was accomplishing a degree a self worth and satisfaction that I was unable to accomplish for myself.
It’s more so a bitter sweet recollection now because I’ve now learned how to acquire this degree of self worth and satisfaction, and it seems as though I’m now reliving this surreal experience of accomplishment only this time, I’m the person who’s actually achieving something significant in their life.
I never thought I was going to be able to make any of this happen. Even though I’m still crawling along the early stages of my brand, I’ve been able to get to places I never thought I’d ever be able to reach, and for that I’m forever grateful.
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