I’ve decided to separate my life into 25 year long chapters, and life after 25 is like reliving the past in the present moment; the present often feels like it’s the past playing itself out all over again, and I’m living through it almost a completely different character to the person I used to be.
The world I live in after prison looks very much the same, but feels very different. I’m in a different state of mind, and I’m trying still after years of being out to adjust myself to the chaotic frequency so many people seem to find themselves in.
Everybody feels and looks like a character that they’re just trying to play out before they reach the comfort of their own home. Some people seem to be exhausted, distressed, and consumed by the characters they feel they have to play to fit into this society.
It’s interesting, but saddening as well when you observe long enough to see the cracks falling through people’s characters. The Friday nights on the train down from London can be very telling; the Friday nights up to London even more so.
I wouldn't say I’ve become “Enlightened”, but now that I can see the things we ultimately fuss over one another for, I truly wonder why we even bother with fussing over these things at all. Poverty in my opinion, is a mirror that perfectly reflects how desperate we can be to become something more than ordinary. I’m living in a world where ordinary is less than enough, with a state of mind that’s out of place because when I find my default setting, ordinary is good enough for me.
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