Sometimes when I find myself having to push myself to do something that’s naturally pretty difficult to do, I have to ignore the possibility that I could quite easily fail. I have to gloss over the facts and almost pretend that they’re not even there, because the challenge is so difficult that thinking about failure is almost an automatic throwing in of the towel.
I genuinely feel like this is what I’ve been doing my entire time putting pen to paper to write rap music. The facts that I’ve been ignoring are that rap is something that will always originate from the streets. Whilst this music might have been made for me to listen to, it wasn’t made for me to create.
Majority of the people who made this music, unless they were fabricating their lifestyle were plain and simple products of the street. They were hood, they were thug, they were gangster. Their music was simply self destructive and it indulged in all the things that you shouldn’t do, and all the things you shouldn’t do to other people.
Me coming in to say something whether it’s to relay the same message or say something different will never be as cool or as this highly flammable, high octane and controversial genre. The artist who’s on the path of self destruction will always be cooler than the artist who’s on the path of self redemption, and sadly the truth is that I’m simply creating music to better myself.
With that being said I’m not sure I want to say this will put me at a disadvantage, but I will say that I can expect that in this industry I will be surrounded by many who will be willing to feed into that path of self destruction for the sake of popularity. It’s in that arena where I hope to find, grip and hold unto, the courage to be myself.
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