Cool, so, um, Tuesday the 26th of November 2024 and the title of today's reflection is going to be the meandering. Now, I've been through kind of like this point in the roller coaster ride like enough times like over the last decade or two to um really be able to talk about how like
it's inevitable where effectively you're going to find yourself in situations where you feel like you're a fraud and again like you're spending more time doubting yourself as opposed to you know the time that you should be spending believing in yourself and having that confidence and you know kind of like
effectively everything feels effectively like you know failure seems a lot more realistic and a lot more plausible than success in whatever goal you kind of like set out for yourself. Like you know right now you know I've kind of like slowed down a little bit I've been I mean of course like you know it's understandable given kind of like my current circumstances with like you know the expansion of my family and me having to look after my you know you know my two daughters like you know my wife is
away like I've been hit by that and that's understandable but you know at the same time it's kind of like, you know,
you know, I've had,
I've had moments where I've been hit with this kind of like wave of doubt or this kind of like, you know, this, this feeling and uh, you know, a couple of times in the past, even when I didn't have situations like this. And um, you know, sometimes it's inevitable, not only that, but like when you get hit with his wave, like, you know, you've got to be careful to still keep true to the things that you want to
accomplish. But right now it's, it's, it's difficult to have that discipline like you know It's that there are there are days are easier when it comes to discipline and days that are hard when it comes to discipline like Effectively there are days where it's easier to follow kind of like what you set yourself out to do and you know they you know Moments like this, you know makes everything just a little bit more difficult Like, you know, you don't believe in the craft that you're putting in You don't believe in the kind of like output that you're putting in everything feels cringy everything feels
forced and everything feels like you know it's not to the standard that you set yourself to you know you believe like everybody's just racing ahead of you and stuff like that and yeah like at the moment I'm just battling you know those kind of like feelings and emotions as you know I'm looking at stuff and I'm thinking man is this stuff even any good is anybody watching does anybody even care you know should I just stop you know I'm saying and this is like yeah man like battling days like this is
difficult because it's like you know you gotta keep going this is not easy like you know effectively what it is is like you know there's always gonna be kind of like this up and downness you know which is why I call it a meandering it's always gonna be like I'll going up and down up and down up and down like you know even as you're rising through the ranks and you're getting up there like you know that feeling is always gonna be there to follow you like you know there's always that doubt uh and yeah maybe like
i guess it's probably time to maybe look back and focus on the things that i have accomplished in order to kind of like um i suppose just you know remind myself that i'm you know that i have in order to kind of like um i suppose just you know remind myself that i'm you know that i have i have traversed and i have gotten to places like i just need to keep on going
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