The window’s open in my bedroom right now, and I’m trying to absorb the present moment by paying attention to the distinctive wind that’s blowing in and through the quiet street that I live on.
As I’m observing this moment It’s becoming more apparent that soon I will have to leave my house to drop my daughter off to school, and from this brief period of stillness I will journey into my dance with chaos.
Im thinking about control in the context of the work I dedicate to my music career, but also in the spaces of my life where I’m currently beginning to realise are also just as important.
It’s a little difficult to recollect everything, but over the past couple of hours the amount of times I could have decided to be in an extremely negative mood because of what I can’t control, is actually quite surprising.
My complicated family life means that I must meander and negotiate my desire to work, despite how important and beneficial it is to parties both directly and indirectly involved.
This means that on many occasions time is not on my side, and it’s difficult to gauge how much time I can get from a day to focus on a specific task. But today I’m not mad, is that because I have decided that I’ll leave what I can’t control to mind it’s own business whilst I focus on how I can make myself happy irrespective of whatever outcome? I definitely need to explore this more.
I’m looking forward to the rest of today despite all that may or may not happen. I can look positively at the fact that it’s my day off work today and I can come to some sort of flow state even if the road ahead of me might be a little bit rocky. I’m grateful for the moments I’ve been given to write this stuff down. I’m happy.
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