I’ll start off by expressing my wish for the ideal structure of my daily reflections. Due to the nature of being overly analytical about pretty much everything, I decided that the best course of action would be for me to just start writing, start editing, and start positing. Up until now I haven’t focused a great deal of thought towards the structure of what I’m writing about, and this is the reason why I’ve shied away from things that are a little dark; one of these things being my identity.
Whilst things have been going great, and I’m accustoming myself to the reality that I’m the one who decides whether I’m having a great day or not, some things from my former life have been peaking in and out of my brief moments of day to day reflections.
As much as I have set myself on this planet to express my good intentions, I find it difficult to argue that my expressions are in anyway pure or without self interest.
In my past I have suffered with the notion of sticking around to see how the world continues to spin because I easily grew apathetic when I wasn’t able to manifest my own ideal reality. The truth is that ability to grow apathetic is still there. I have tried to grow in a manner that allows me to act as least often as possible in this way, but the sad truth is that sometimes I simply don’t want to. The best thing I can do is manoeuvre away from the things and the people this hunger can hurt. The road of the ambitious artist has never been for the feint hearted.
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